When everything sucks.

When your body betrays you.


When your heart does nothing but depressed all the time,

When your mind fxcks you up all the time.

When your eyes sees what you don't want to see,

When your brain won't cooperate with you.

When your life isn't what it supposed to be.

CAN I JUST SLEEP FOREVER AND DISAPPEAR ?   

Ooops. Reality check.

And I'm at the critical point of my life again.

 I'm a total failure.

What can I do ?

I'm insecure.

My life is not secured.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't have any future at all.

 Life is just so hard when you're stupid.

I figured, I'm too dumb to try to get medical course in UPU.

But then, what if I go to Egypt and fail ?

What do I do ?

Shit.

What's going on with my life.

I don't know anymore.

         

Zero - zero.

If you're reading this,

 

I'm sorry. Truly sorry.

You know what they said that teenagers are stupid.

Well I was one of them.

And I promise not to be one anymore.

I just don't want anyone to be mad at anyone.

Holding grudges, that's ancient.

You know that teacher's bless is everything.

And that's all I'm asking.

Sorry.

 

Where's our sun, mum ?

One day my mom dm-ed me on facebook.

"Jangan fikirkan sangat betapa berat sesuatu masaalah itu. 

Selagi kita bersyukur dan redha, selagi itu hidup kita diberkati Allah.

 Jangan mengukur kesusahan melalui wang ringgit sahaja.

 Walau tampak miskin tapi bahagia, apa salahnya:-) 

We love you so much"

mom, do you realize what you just did to me?

I couldn't hold my tears back no more.

It was all just so hard seeing us like this.

I'm trying all i could to not be a burden to you.

And I du'a to Allah all the time,

so you would never ever have to feel like this anymore .

Even when I'm not happy, I still want happiness to be yours.

You've done too much, 

much more than I could ever repay.

not here, not in akhirah.

Just, hold my hands,

pull through this together.

You're all that I got in my darkest day,

and you are the ones I'll spend my brightest day with.

To, mom and dad.