One time I went out with my family,

you know, just some family stuffs.

Afet that my father went to KWSP.

And that's the time when I saw..

" Account 1 ..... Rm1004.00...

Account 2.... RM 148 000.00"

Approximately that amount lah.

I'm not a calculator btw.

"Wow that's a lot of money."

And in the way back home,

mother says " Awiy nak pergi belajar dekat Mesir ?"

.....I was stumped.

happy. sad. guilty. anxious. grateful.redeemed.

mixed of feelings, splashing out.

"Is that okay ? Isn't that the money that you want to use to buy a house mom ?"

 "Money can be made. if it's for education, then it's okay."

I never realized, that dream can really do come true.

Mom, dad, thanks for can making this happen.

And I don't mind if it doesn't,

I still love both of you.

               

Enough with words.

Page 4 of 365.

 I still remember that night.

31.12.2012.

How I wished I could change that time.

Turn a new leaf, open a new book.

11:59:59 PM.

tick... tock..

nothing's changed.

I'm still the old me.

And I'm still falling in this never-ending pit...    

 

Here's to the kid.

 Here's to the kid...

Whom everything around you never worked out,

Who tried everything but could never be better than anyone else,

who someone you love never loves you back,

who felt like shit in this world,

who tried everything, but it was never good enough,

who are tired of disappointing people, 

who just wanted to lead a good, happy life, but couldn't,

just remember.

TRY TO GRASP WORLD WITH OUR HAND,

YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED.

BUT TRY TO PURSUE AKHIRAT AND SEARCH FOR ALLAH'S BLESS,

AKHIRAH AND DUNYA WILL COME FOR YOU.